The 16 most controversial jokes of the election

by Jack Colyer

 

On Donald Trump

  • Why does Trump want to ban the sale of pre-shredded cheese?
    He wants to make America grate again.
  • Why does the Donald sleep with a potato in his briefs?
    Because he wants to wake up some day as America’s First Dictator.
  • How does Donald Trump plan on deporting 12 million illegal immigrants?
    Juan by Juan.
  • Why are Black Americans worried about Trumps immigration plans?
    Once you deport Juan you deport Jamal.
  • A swastika has been spray painted over Donald Trump’s star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame. Police say it’s impossible to tell if the act was committed but Trump’s opponents or supporters.
    “A new poll has Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump virtually tied, with Clinton leading Trump 46 per cent to 45 per cent. It’s the closest Trump has ever gotten to a woman his own age.“— Seth Meyers
  • We’ll either have the first female President or the first President who started a Twitter war with Cher” — Hillary Clinton
  • The media is even more biased this year than ever before. You want the proof? Michelle Obama gives a speech and everyone loves it. It’s fantastic. They think she’s absolutely great. My wife Melania gives the exact same speech and people get on her case. — Donald Trump.

 

On Hillary Clinton

  • Who are cats going to vote for in November?
    Hillary Kitten.
  • Why does Hillary want to have sex with Bill Clinton first thing in the morning?
    She wants to be the first lady.
  • What do Monica and the Carolina Panthers have in common?
    They both blew it.
  • Hillary: “Snoop, can I count on your vote?”
    Snoop: “Fo Shizzle My Hizzle”
  • “A new poll has Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump virtually tied, with Clinton leading Trump 46 per cent to 45 per cent. It’s the closest Trump has ever gotten to a woman his own age.” Seth Meyers
    What is Hillary Clinton’s favourite pizza?
    Little Seizures.
  • What does Hillary Clinton do in the morning after she shaves her pussy?
    She straightens his tie and sends him of to work.
  • 8) Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton are on a plane. The plane crashed. Who survived?
  • America.

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